Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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