I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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