I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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