Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i think i have two assholes
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
