Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
