white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
