but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
