Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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