This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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