We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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