i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
