Already got asked if we're dating
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
