You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
