Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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