im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
