Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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