Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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