Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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