I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
