her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I would fuck him just for his dog
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
