College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
