oh god the rape fog is back!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
