do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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