would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
