Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
