Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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