Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just invented taco cereal.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
