I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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