youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize