a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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