Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
