I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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