His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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