yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
