I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
