i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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