I heard we made out
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
