The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
