ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
