Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
