i permit you to call me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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