good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
