My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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