Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
