The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
