i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
