My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
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he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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