you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
