i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
