I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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