season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
