hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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