i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
