Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
